Snag This Job and You Could Add “Professional Slacker” to Your Resume

If lazy individuals had a Bat Sign that would mild up the night time sky after we wanted them most, what would it not appear to be?

Would the silhouette of a pair of slippers sprint throughout the darkened clouds?

A picture of a bubble tub?

The receipt out of your fifth Uber Eats order this week?

A screenshot of the textual content message change between you and the Shipt grocery supply individual through which you severely try to persuade them to carry the wine you ordered straight to you on the sofa?

Yikes. Effectively, I’ll attempt to hammer out the small print of the brand new Lazy Particular person Sign, however within the meantime, if any of these choices resonated with one thing deep inside your soul, take note of what I’m about to let you know: A journey company is searching for “Skilled Slackers” who will sit round and do completely nothingand receives a commission for it.

Calling All Slackers: We Discovered Your Dream Job

The journey company TUI is searching for 4 skilled slackers to develop into “fakeation specialists” in Stockholm, Sweden, on the finish of the month.

The next are actual particulars from an actual job itemizing for an actual place at an actual firm. All that to say, no, you’re not dreaming.

Pay: Mounted wage. No actual numbers, however the firm ensures it’s going to “be means too excessive in relation to efficiency.”

Schedule: Day by day shifts embrace 7 a.m. to 1 p.m. and 1 p.m. to 7 p.m. These non permanent positions final from January 22 to February four.

Duties embrace:

(Though you will be requested to put on a summery outfit, sit in a seaside chair, lie on a seaside towel, take a nap, learn a ebook, take heed to music, meditate, loosen up and customarily do your greatest to make stressed-out commuters and passersby extremely jealous.)

Candidates for this place should have:

  • Earlier expertise sleeping at your office
  • An incapacity to suppose exterior the field
  • A definite lack of means to multitask
  • No real interest in interacting with others
  • Excessive emotions of discomfort when confronted with the phrases “deadlines” and “productiveness”
  • The power to take a seat or lie down typically and loads
  • A formidable means to proceed stress-free no matter exterior distractions
  • No severely, you’d higher be capable to do some hardcore stress-free

The corporate wish to reiterate that these duties won’t differ.

As on your training? TUI is type of hoping to search out that one man who slept via all of his lessons.

If this feels like your life, the corporate wish to hear from you ASAP.

No severely, the deadline to use is January 14, 2018. (I’m fairly assured that’s the one deadline they’ll throw at you, although.)

All you need to do is write a few strains about who you might be and why you, the laziest of the lazies, ought to develop into a fakeation specialist. You’ll be able to improve your odds in case you connect an image of your self in your most stress-free pose (bonus factors if it showcases your stress-free abilities in a high-stress atmosphere). Except for that, they’ll simply want your measurements to allow them to have a pair of flip-flops able to go if you arrive.

Additionally, you’ll wish to particularly NOT connect a resume, cowl letter, letter of advice or another such nonsense.

Significantly: For those who put in any additional work, they may suppose you’re truly making an attempt to win the job — and that may reveal you to be something lower than fully, completely, totally lazy.

To use, click on on over to the unique job itemizing.

Grace Schweizer is a junior author at The Penny Hoarder. She most definitely has by no means thought of yelling “it’s open!” from the sofa when Uber Eats exhibits up.

Do you suppose this text may enable you put more cash in your pocket?

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